True Life.

True Life: I have a bachelors and master’s degree.

True Life: I had grandparents that saved and were able to give my sister and I each $30,000 to pay for school. Leaving me debt free since I went to a fairly cheap (in comparison to some) public 4 year university and the same university for grad school.

True Life: My husband has no college degree.

True Life: My husband’s parents and grandparents weren’t able to give anything to help support him through college. So as of now, he’s gone through the motions of “what you’re supposed to do” and start college by taking out loans.

True Life: He and I sat down a few semesters ago and looked at the real picture. What was really going on. He We were taking on debt to finance an education because? …Because everyone tells you that you are supposed to go to college to make something of yourself. He was in pre-nursing to get all the core classes before applying to nursing school. But when we sat down and really looked at what he wanted to do with his life verses staying on the path to racking up debt to finally graduate into an iffy job market (at least where we live), it just wasn’t worth it.

True Life: He didn’t register the next semester. He took a few months off to begin paying on what amount of student loan debt we already had and to really figure out what it was that he wanted for his life. And he figured out, pretty quickly, that for him, it wasn’t college for 4 years, possibly graduate school for 2 or 3 more and how many thousands of dollars owed to uncle sam or the credit union down the road.

True Life: He will be going to the community college in August (fingers crossed the program isn’t full – we just sent in the paperwork) to receive HVAC training (Heating, Ventilation, Air Conditioning). It’s in the evening (after his current full time job) and only runs for 2 semesters. It is also cheap enough and a short enough program that we can pay out of pocket (hello payment plan) so no other debt is gained.

True Life: He currently works as a property manager and the owner of the business said that after he receives the HVAC license, he can continue to work as the property manager but do all HVAC service calls to their property also, giving him a start to owning his own HVAC business without having to take a scary plunge of completely quitting his full time job first.

True Life: This is the best plan for him and our family. He’s always been a very hard worker and has wonderful entrepreneurial skills. We are beyond excited and cannot wait to see where this goes.

 

This brings me to my question of: Why do people (in general, not all), believe that to be successful, you must go to college. You must have that degree hanging on the wall of your home office. I used to be one of these. Because it’s what I grew up knowing. It’s what I did myself. I no longer think in this manner and support learning a trade 100%. If you put your mind to it and are a hard worker, you can make a wonderful living without the degree.

Things I Didn’t Learn In School

1) How to balance a checkbook. What credit scores, checking and savings accounts, and emergency funds are all about, and how important in life they actually are.

2) What types of careers I could really have: creator, artist, professional organizer, writer, interior decorator, chef, nurse practitioner, instead of the basic: lawyer, doctor, teacher, nurse, SAHM. It didn’t seem like my school was very broad with their studies. (We’re talking high school people).

3) How to garden and can my own food, sew, cook… (or anything remotely valuable in the sense of self-sustainment).

4) Anything about religion. I went to a public school. We didn’t study religion. Not even in other cultures unless it was a brief statement in a history textbook.

Blah. Lots of other things. It’s a hard knock life. For us. :)

$&*! is about to get real

so stemming from lots of journal entries then getting the courage from this post, I want to talk about weight and body image today.

let’s put something out there right now, get it right on the table… I am plus-sized. But in reality, I am Obese. Fat. Chunky. Big-boned. Curvy. Heavy. Large.                                                                                                   

whatever you want to call it. I own a mirror and a scale so I am well aware of the categories I belong in physically.

now… some truths::

1) I hate pinning health/wellness pins on Pinterest [see my Health/Fitness board here] because I feel that some people might judge me for being overweight and pinning things that supposedly are there to make me smaller/skinnier/healthier but I stay the same weight/shape/size

2) I typed something here but still don’t have the guts to type it out for the world. let’s continue…

3) I am secretly not a secret any longer, afraid to lose weight because of the possible side effects. side effects you say? I’m talking baggy skin, still having stretch marks, having to buy new clothes and not feeling confident in those garments, having my boobs shrink to a disproportionate size [I can’t afford a boob job], having surgery to remove lose skin [scars, cost of surgery, possible complications]

4) The biggest, scariest, but least likely issue for all of this is that my husband, since the tender age of 12/13, has never ever ever seen me in a healthy/skinny weight. He has always had the hots for me in my overweight bod. He is always one to compliment me on my clothes, how I look, mention how he loves my body [that makes me embarrassed to even type] but it’s true. I know in my heart he would love me no matter what I looked like, but what if he’s turned off by the skinnier mini-Laura. he always makes comments about how disgusting some women are – too skinny, emaciated, sickly [and realistically that will never be me] but I can’t help but be honest in my feelings.

and I’m out. that was hard.

the secret of marriage::

so I had a call from a friend last night who recently got married in the Caribbean (jealous).
as we were talking she said “okay, I need to know, what’s the secret to a happy marriage?” (because my 3 years and 2 months of marriage has made me a wise one knowledgeable in all aspects of marriage *sarcasm*)

my next words were, “um…. uh…. we planted a garden tonight then went to Wal-Mart to buy some Zyrtec and hair spray”

exactly. I have no secret. I told her that from what I’ve seen so far my 3 years and 2 months of marriage have included laughter, giving each other space when needed, a joint bank account with open communication ($ isn’t taboo over here), friendship, separate fun time with our individual friends, but date night at least once a week just us (no technology: bye bye phone, laptop, kindle), support during rough days and honesty.

I came from a divorced mom and dad, mom remarried. I didn’t have a perfect example of marriage. I don’t feel like I even had a mediocre example of marriage. But for some reason unknown to anyone (besides God, of course) I came into adulthood knowing that for my marriage I wanted a partner, a best friend, a teammate, someone who believes in what I believe in, someone who has goals and dreams and can support mine too. I found that early in life (16) and although this isn’t the situation for everyone, I know in my heart of hearts, deep in my soul that I have found my lifemate.

I asked her what she thought when she imagines her marriage and she quoted around the same ideals I mentioned. I think hope we are right. So far it’s worked!

Do you have any secrets to a successful marriage?

Tuesday Ten [things that make me happy]

 

• Nail Polish
• Great Music
• A Clean House/Car
• Wild Fern Candles from Hobby Lobby & Black Ruby Scentsy
• Italian Village Pizza with Ranch
• Friends & Family at my home for a cookout
• Snuggle/Movie time with Husband or he and I driving around with ice cream & loud music
• Max the Fat Cat head booping when I get home or when he wants loves
• Cooking dinner with husband
• Reading

 

 

                                     Boom. Happiness.